Chennai day 3 brought about a welcome change. We went to this place which had some old rock carvings of elephants and chariots etc.

On the way we started talking to Chris’s sister who was about 24 or so. Hannah of course wanted all the gossip straight from the start.

“So do you have a boyfriend?” Hannah asked.

At which she looked a little confused, “No, I told my parents I did not want to marry until I was finished my university degree in a year.”

It was now our turn to look confused.

Chris’s sister continued, “Then my parents will find me a good husband. I know how to dance and sing because I took lessons when I was younger, so I they should be able to get me a good husband.” Apparently that is what they look for in a woman over there. I considered what Hannah would be worth if I could marry her off to someone and get me a good dowry for her once I got rid of her parents in a few days. I have heard her sing and seen her dance so guessed it probably wouldn’t be worth much, maybe a couple of pappadum’s. Although I was feeling particularly hungry so maybe it might be worth it.

This was not good enough for Hannah so she pried harder, “So is there a man you have your eye on?”

“No I do not really associate with men much, if I do it is only ever with a group of all my friends and we never speak alone.”

“So you don’t like anyone then?” Hannah tried.

“No,” was the answer.

“Wow that’s crazy,” I hastily butted in.

“No it isn’t.” the girls all shot back a touch too testily.

I had to back peddle quickly, “I don’t mean crazy, crazy. I mean, like, you know, far out.” I was clutching for straws grabbing at anything that would come to me, I wasn’t getting anywhere fast, “as in, crazy how different our cultures are!” I cried out triumphantly. I had dodged a bullet there. “Hannah and I are not even married but we always travel together and alone.” I was going so well and then I decided to continue, “I mean we even sleep in the same bed together sometimes.” It was about then that I noticed that Glenys was sitting not only in the conversation but was pretty much right in the middle of the conversation. It was also about then that I realised how scandalous it was all sounding to a very sheltered Indian girl. It was all going pear shaped. I beated a hasty retreated to the safety of the front seat and looked out the window at where the Boxing Day tsunami had wiped out half of India instead and wished I was out there, possibly even when it was all happening. It was lucky that Glenys is such an understanding lady and knows we never get up to mischief, in fact I heard her tell Chris’s sister that she was glad we travelled together so I could look after Hannah. I don’t know about Chris’s sister but she was still friendly to me, but I am sure it was all due to my incredible charm.

It was pouring down rain when we arrived but that didn’t stop the hoards of hawkers rushing over and thrusting things in our faces. Hannah and I had no worries; the others however were trying hard to be polite and got ensnared.

Once inside to the carvings we were safe. The hawkers however were all waiting patiently for us though to return. On trying to pay for the tickets a tour guide came up to Chris (who is Indian), “I will lead this group.”

“Umm no you wont, they are with me and I’ll show them around.”

“You don’t have a licence so you will get a fine.”

Chris started laughing, “They are my friends.”

The man muttered, scowled and sauntered off trying his luck with the rest of us.

On the way out the others all got trapped by people thrusting things in their faces and they couldn’t get on the bus. It was quite crazy.

I got inside easily enough using my monkey butler leeches, evasion dance. Hannah did some sort of weasel wiggle and was not too far behind me. Once inside the people outside opened my window and tapped on me trying to get me to buy stuff. I closed the window. He tapped. I tapped. He made hand gestures, I made hand gestures. He opened the window, so I shut the window and then opened it up again. He thrust his hand in, so I thrust mine out. He grabbed mine, so I grabbed his. He tried to get in the window so I tried to get out. He gave up so I closed the window and he started tapping again. So I put my hands in front of my eyes and when he tapped I would thrust my hands away and with a big grin cry, “PEEK-A-BOO!” Everyone but Hannah thought I was a bit nuts.

We then went to this lighthouse and were greeted by the hawkers pestering us.

Zyg and Yvonne bought this stuff but obviously it wasn’t enough so more kids came up.

“Beads, beads, statue.” They all cried.

“No thanks, we just bought some.” This only seemed to incite the mob some more. After a while, “You have statue of your god?” Zyg asked.

“Yes, yes!” they all cried.

“We have only one God, his name is Jesus.” And began to preach to them. It thinned them a little, but not much.

On the way back some kids cornered Chiang.

“Yabber, yabber….” The kids jabbered.

“Oh, hello.” Chiang replied.

“Yabber, yabber….”

“No thankyou.” Chiang replied to their constant demands for their wares.

“No I don’t want it, thankyou.”

“Yabber, yabber….”

“Yes, it is very good, I just…. “

“Yabber, yabber….”

“Yes, it is good, I just want…. “

“Yabber, yabber….”

“Yes, I can see it is very intricate, I just want to…. “

“Yabber, yabber….”

“No, I am sure it is very cheap, I just want to go…. “

“Yabber, yabber….”

“I just want… Ok I know it is very hard, … to go with….”

“Yabber, yabber….”

“I just want… Ok I know its very hard, I can see that, … want to go with my…. “

“Yabber, yabber….”

“I just want to… I can see it is very cleverly done.. go with my friends…”

“Yabber, yabber….”

“Yes there is an elephant in an elephant, very clever, but my friends are just, No I cant buy it sorry, if I could just trouble you to move a touch so I could get past, yes it obviously was made by a master craftsman, can I go? Yes, he must have been very skilled.”

I could see this taking all day so I came up and put my arm around one. He got very excited as I walked with him slowly, veering him into a tree.

The next one challenging Chiang was my next target. I walked in between him and Chiang and cut him off, as if by mistake and then walked each way as he tried to get back to Chiang.

“Terribly sorry old chap.” I explained.

“Excuse me”

“Oh, I just cant seem to get out of your way.”

“Hrmmm” He started looking quite flustered.

“Ok I go left, you go right.” I suggested.

“No other right.” I tried.

“Ok maybe if you go the other way we’ll stop colliding.”

All a bit of fun.

That afternoon we went back to the 4 shops we visited the day before to buy more stuff. I revolted and went AWOL.

In the evening we packed everyone except Chris, jumped into the bus, drove 40 minutes and dropped them off at the airport. We assumed, incorrectly, that we would have time in the airport to say our farewells. The Hannah clone, Glenys, had tears in her eyes saying goodbye to her only daughter who was being led away from home by me. Hannah’s father just said not to dare Hannah to do stuff or he’d rip my arms off. I was touched he cared, also a might concerned, because he has long arms, good for flailing or ripping members off boys who dare his daughter to do silly things. Also I was kind of attached to my guns.