There was no need to set the alarm with the Byrne alarm going off nice and early.

“Be a jolly good chap. Time to get moving. I say Hector, its still dark but the natives are arriving in the canter soon.”

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and got jumped on.

“Oh I say, this bed is rather bouncy, isn’t it what.”

Hannah was quite excited at another bout of tiger hunting, that I was quite sure of in my sleep deprived state.

“Hannah be a chap and get me a cup of tea, carry on then.” I shooed her out to get rid of some of that energy she always seemed to have unlimited amounts of.

“Cheerio, I’ll be back in a jiffy.” She said, stalking out of the door on the hunt for another victim, most likely our poor new friends.

Being the first people up in the whole of India had its advantages and we got to share the back seat with our new friends. As we drove along on the mildly bumpy roads Hannah was being dramatic and so we all played a game of forced corners. She being in the middle was quite fine and free from the effects of the bare sides of the canter. It did help to wake me up after having like 2 hours sleep however.

Our two new friends got a bit confused with all the Hector and Basel name calling. It was hard enough for me to understand what the hell was going on in Hannah’s head and I at least had an inkling of went on inside that mind of hers.

We were surprised to see that we picked up the couple from the day before who were now on their eleventh tiger hunt. The way I saw it, if there was a 1/10 chance of seeing tigers and they were on their eleventh attempt, well we had to see some tigers!

We arrived in a large convoy of canters and sat patiently about 200m from the entry. Word on the street was that there was a tiger nearby so the 16 canters all full of 16 people each sat there, not at all silently, peering into the bushes.

I am sure we would have seen the tigers soon if not for this bunch of people yelling out every 5 seconds, “I think I can see it!!” and then continuing with, “No wait it’s just a tree.” Everyone in all the canters looked at them in frustration and annoyance. I don’t know about the others but I didn’t like everyone staring at us so.

“Hannah I am serious there it is again!” I pointed at a flash in the bushes.

“YES! I see it as well! I am sure it is the tiger!”

I tapped the couple in front of us who were on their eleventh tour. “We have only been on 2 tours and we saw a tiger.”

“Sorry that was actually just a bush, the guide says the tigers are on the other side of the canter somewhere.” They replied helpfully. I listened to them because they had been on so many tours they knew about as much as the tour guides as what there was to see out there.

Hannah asked a few questions, about once every 6 seconds, “So when the birds all flock it means there is a tiger around?”, “So the monkey calls mean there is a preditor around somewhere.”, “Do you think that is the tiger?” before crying out triumphantly, “There it is!! The tiger!” and 20 canters all thundering towards us only to be disappointed to find out it was only a leaf moving. Hannah was under the disillusion that they actually liked her interest.

We then spent about 2 hours of driving back and forth, not in small part to our constant cries of “I have seen it! I am serious! The others times I wasn’t so sure but this time I am!”, before we set of without spotting the tigers.

Later on during the trip, “Oh I say, lovely day today.” I observed.

“Isnt it what!” Hannah replied enthusiastically.

“A rather good day to spot some tigers. Should be frightfully good sport.”

“Rotten luck to miss the tigers yesterday.” I continued.

“Oh indeed, my good man.”

“I know it’s terribly rude to ask old chap. But didn’t we just pass that tree, 30 minutes ago?”

“Good heavens, I think you are right.”

We continued along the path continuing passing the same tree numerous time. After passing the same tree about 16 times and 5 hours into our 2 hours tiger hunting expedition we began to worry slightly.

“I say Hector, do you think we are going to die.” Hannah asked me.

“Indeed, its been good to know you, frightful way to die though, terrible news for the family to learn of our death.”

I could imagine in the papers, Australian backpackers die while lost in a national tiger forest, presumed dead from Tigers. The fact we had not seen head nor tail of a tiger in our 2 trips didn’t seem to matter any less that they would be eating us. At least Hannah wouldn’t die of rabies as she still assumed.

“I say Hector, do you think the monkeys here have rabies? Will they jump on us as soon as we stop this infernal tour?”

Maybe she would die of rabies after all.

After numerous spottings of the same tree, I don’t care what they say, it was the same tree, and a whole lot of bumping, we didn’t seem to be getting any closer to getting out this infernal forest. By now we were so off the beaten track we hadn’t even seen a single animal in a few hours. Not even birds in the sky. Hannah at least may have been happy that the rabies threat had lessoned but there were only so many “I say Hector’s” you can take without anything else to interrupt it. I knew we were going to die out there.

Anyway eventually we got out of there at midday. The driver didn’t say he got lost but all the other canters had been back for about 4 hours.

So thus ended our tiger hunting. And our talking like fools.

We bode a sad farewell to our new friends, always the worst thing about travelling, and headed for Jaipur.