When we got back to the hostel and tried to pay for the Felucca the price had suddenly gone up from Egyptian £95 to £110.

“Do you want beer?”

“Is there ice?”

“Yes an eski.”

“Ok then.”

Sure enough when we got on there was no eski and we had a nice refreshing warm beer.

Our boat company consisted of 6 other Americans.

Hannah rolled her eyes, “Great stuck on a small boat for a night with 6 yanks…”

“Could be worse.”

“Yeah?”

“There could be 8.”

One of the girls, Jordan, struck a conversation with us and so we introduced ourselves. They all knew each other from medical school is Israel so we felt a bit out of place.

10 minutes into out trip a boat pulled up and a French Canadian couple and a German jumped in. They were middle aged but looked interesting so we chatted to them.

Once I found out he was from Canada I asked, “Do you know Ariane?” He said he didn’t so I asked the lady, “Is your name Ariane?” She replied in the negative. She told me her real name which I instantly forgot so I just called her Ariane from then on.

The topic soon got around to talking about festivals, well Hannah and Canadian mans did seeing as my scintillating conversation with the lady had soon dried out about the moment I forgot her name and assumed it was Ariane.

“I went to Live 8 in Edinburgh, it was impossible to get tickets but I managed to get a free one at the door with someone.” Hannah boasted.

“I was in London Live 8 and got 6 tickets for free from a security guard.” Which was amazing because those tickets were like gold dust with scalpers selling them for about UK£300 each.

“Weasel” I said, “You should meet Hannah the Weasel.” Hannah beamed at my compliment.

He then went on to say, “I also got to sit in the VIP section as well.”

“Oh you are an even bigger Weasel than Hannah.” He beamed at my compliment.

He had managed to sneak in because while in the crowd he had got sore legs and St John ambulance had pulled him out into the hospital area which was close to the stage. He had even gotten a few leg massages by looking suitably sore legged. Then when no one was looking he sneaked in the adjoining VIP area from there. He was not only a weasel but a sneaky one as well.

We chatted for a while sailing up the Nile in a felucca until we got to a swimming spot which was really nice, in fact awesome.

“Hey mate is it safe to swim?” I asked one of the Americans.

“Yeah, its fine.” Phil replied. In case your wondering why I would ask him this question was because he had worked in Africa helping sick people. As soon as I heard the ‘Yeah’ I jumped in and so had the pleasure of hearing him continue, “as long as you have had the necessary shot.” Under water I got to reflect on my wise decision to skip getting most of the shots as they were too expensive. The doctor has given me a list of all the ones I needed and I had looked at the spare change in my pocket, amounting to £37.45, and had randomly picked out only the cheapest ones.

I surfaced, “Hepatitis, TB and Typhoid shots aren’t the necessary shots are they?” He must have figured I was joking and laughed heartily at my whit.

I figured I was in anyway and Mohummand the captain had been making us tea using water straight from the Nile and washing out dishes and cooking in it and he looked alright for a 89 year old 40 year old.

Hannah opted not to swim but stayed talking to the weasel King while ‘Ariane’ swam. She tol.d me later he was asking her is she had felt the same connection he was feeling.

“Ummm, how long have you been a couple?” she asked him about ‘Ariane’

“6 years but we have drifted apart.” She wondered which part of the snuggling and kissing they had displayed, constituted drifting apart.

I continued splashing about with the Americans

One of the girls found a dung beetle on shore and Phil told us they tasted like vanilla and I should try it. I picked it up tentatively and began to put it near my mouth but decided against it. It was real nice of him to point out hours later that he had only been joking.

So I told them about the time I had joked with Hannah about getting fly’s in her ankle.

“Oh yeah I have seen that in London before. The particular fly is in Egypt as well. They lay their eggs and the maggots crawl out and it is pussy and smells real bad. You have to be careful.” He was serious this time as well.

Hannah looked on smugly, “I knew it!”

“There is also this other fly that bites you and lays an egg which turns in to a worm which crawls up your skin into the inside of your eye and you can see it inside you eyeball.” Phil added. I filed that one away for later use.

Hannah and I casually went over to our bags and pulled out our 98% DEET. Its so strong a repellent it melts your clothes. I had brought it because it was cheaper than the malaria tablets.

At our swimming spot another boat pulled up and out jumped a large crowd of very drunk Aussies who stated in none too quiet a voice that everyone in our boat had better get our togs on because they were going to throw us all in the water.

Hannah and I tried unsuccessfully to find a rock to crawl under. We figured our lot with a boat of very polite and friendly Americans was probably very good.

That night we talked some more and got to know everyone. It was a really fun night so we decided to stay another day on the Felucca with them. Something which originally was only supposed to cost us £50 but somehow ballooned out to £150 in true Egyptian style. We didn’t want the Americans to know we liked them so pretended we only stay because we didn’t want to get up at 6:30 and leave so had decided to stay another night.