The next morning Hannah was complaining of no energy and all she wanted to do was sit inside and read Lord Of The Rings. Now I don’t mind a good book and Lord of the Rings is pretty much about as good as they get. However I do mind when I am doing a once in a lifetime trip and my partner for said trip is wrapped up deep inside a books much she doesn’t want to come and explore a small thing called the Valley of the Kings. I know the names are similar but I guess seeing as the Valley probably didn’t have hobbits it just couldn’t cut it for Hannah. I guess she did kinda look like a goblin or something all stooped over and feverish and those red eyes of her did look exactly how I imagine Sauron looked. One thing was definitely clear, I was about to end up looking like Smegal as well if I kept hanging around her disease any longer so I didn’t push it too much.
It was my first day all alone in the big world so I was a bit nervous and scared. King of comparable to the first time you get on a bike without training wheels or how in dreams you are standing naked in front of your class at school.
First things were first, I got on my walking around Egypt stare, the stare of being the only person alive in the world even ignoring the ones grabbing, speaking or trying to fight you. I set off. About 10 minutes in I realised I forgot to get some water and a torch and deciding I didn’t need them anyway, continued.
By the time I had gotten to the ferry across the Nile about 200m down the road I had had to cross the road 10 times and do about 6 “short cuts” down abandoned roads which quickly became un-abandoned as soon as I stepped into them becoming filled with taxi drivers who were really helpful each with a really cheap price of only £100, only catch you pay them up front and then they will wait for you at each place you want to go to, promise! Egyptian promise!
I sat down on the ferry.
“Hey nice necklace.”
“I don’t want a taxi.”
He looked at me injured, “I was just trying to be nice, where are you from?”
After a few seconds silence he continued, “Welcome to Egypt.” A few more seconds of silence, “I suppose you need a taxi for the day to get to the Valley of the Kings.” A few all too short moments of blessed silence, “Ok, for you I will do a cheap price, Egyptian price! Just for you.” After a few more unanswered questions he left.
This was great no Hannah slapping me for being rude or telling me off for how I treated people.
“Hello, welcome to Egypt, where are you from?”
“No thanks.”
“Huh?”
“Go away, I don’t need a taxi.”
“What do you mean?”
“I”, I pointed at myself to make it clear.
“Don’t”, shook my head vigorously.
“want a taxi.” And pretended to driver.
“I just wanted to talk,” he replied.
“I want you to go away but we cant have everything.”
“So anyway you will need a taxi, here is my card. Very cheap, only £10 to Valley of Kings. It is too far to walk so I will drive you.”
“Go away.” He continued to yabber about something but the cone of silence had its intended effect after a while and he left.
Three more contenders later and I finally got to the other side, I pushed through the crowd of people waiting to interview me and jumped off before it docked to get away from them all and get a head start. When I arrived at the taxi stand a guy offered me a trip for £1 (25c), more like my prices. I accepted.
It was all really confusing and there were no signs because people only ever travel to Egypt in tour groups and get everything organised for them.
“Do you know where you buy a ticket?”
“You want a taxi, ok I will take you, very cheap.”
“No TICK-ET”
“Yes, very cheap taxi.”
After a few false starts, false information, being told the shop was a ticket office, all I had to do was buy this statue and entry was included, I finally got to it.
Don’t know how I knew it was it because it was all in Arabic. I studiously studied all the options and picked the one that in mind was the right option.
“I’ll have a djfkgfnn.” I hoped confusion would make it so he would just pick something at random for me and I could just pay him.
“What?”
“dshjfdsjkl.” I assumed the mumbling would make it clearer what I wanted. He didn’t play ball.
“What ticket do you want?”
“I don’t know.”
“Next!”
I looked behind me for the hordes banked up and saw nothing much more than the tumble weed blowing passed.
“Can you explain to me why there is 15 different price?”
“Student?” I didn’t see how that was relevant seeing as there isn’t 15 types of students as far as I could see.
“Yes.”
“Next window.”
I got through the usual “Hello, welcome, where are you from.”
“Can you explain to me why there is 15 different prices?”
He looked annoyed so I slipped him a little backsheesh, £1. He looked a little more friendly. It turned out you had to buy a ticket to each tomb section individually. I had no idea what I wanted to see so I got him to suggest a few things. Turned out Valley of the Kings was 12km drive away so after looking at things on this side of the mountain I should come back and get a taxi round to there.
“Can’t I just walk over the mountain?” the thought of giving my hard earned cash to those thieves sent shivers down my spine.
He looked at me like I was crazy. “I suppose you could but its hot and a big mountain!”
“Yeah I know. I feel like a short stroll in the sun.”
As I walked off he was still shaking his head. Probably thought I had already been for a walk in the sun and seen a little bit too much of it. I was perhaps thinking I was as well when I looked up and saw the mountain, but when it got down to it a 1hr walk over the hill in the hot Saharian sun or giving some greedy lying taxi AUS$2 for their terror campaign against me was a much better idea.